I don't deserve to be loved by anyone…

“You push people who loves you into leaving you behind… You always choose to believe in things the way you interpret them and you choose to think of things the way you want to think about them…”

“No one would feel deserving of your love coz you end up making them feel they can never love you enough…”

It struck me like lightning. Am I really this kind of person? Maybe I am coz you’re not gonna tell me all those things if it wasn’t me right? That statement made me think of a lot of things… made me look back and tried to analyze on what I am as a person and what I’ve done when I was still in a relationship. Then tears started to fall because at some point, it made me feel that all that this person told me is all true…

Maybe I am not a perfect lover… or maybe I wasn’t suppose to be involve with anyone else… Maybe I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone because I failed to make them feel being loved and appreciated… Most of the time I am having a hard time to express what I really feel because I often say the opposite of what I really mean and it turned me out to be the most complicated and fickle minded person on earth… I couldn’t remember how many times I’ve told you to let me go but in my mind I was begging you “Please… Don’t ever let me go…”

I don’t need much… I just wanted to feel that I am not being taken for granted… A simple hug even just for one day is enough for me…

Maybe it doesn’t matter what I want to say right now coz I know there’s nothing I can do to change your mind… Sobs

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 5th, 2009 at 10:56 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.